The main idea I got from the book was that it is a good idea to stop being a maximizer and start being a satisficer more often. Satisficers look for something that meets their requirements, meaning it is "good enough." When they find it, they acquire it and move on to the next thing. Maximizers agonize over finding the "best" option and then are not happy when they finally get it.
Overall, it was very good. I think I fall into the trap of maximizing more than I should. I'll work on that.
Chapter-by-chapter summary:
1) Some choices don't matter much, such as which cereal or soap you buy, so don't agonize over them. There are overwhelming options available to us: products at the store, majors and programs in college, job opportunities. This makes decisions complicated.
2) A majority of people want more control over their lives, but a majority of people want to simplify their lives. What a paradox. Some choices (college, marriage, health insurance, retirement) do matter, but we're still faced with almost endless options.
3) We don't know what we really want and we can't process all of the available information effectively. This makes it difficult to reach an optimal decision.
Peak-end theory: The feelings at the peak and end of an experience determine how the experience overall gets remembered.
Endowment effects - when something becomes "yours," you assign it more value.
4) Be a satisficer, not a maximizer. Maximizing is worse than perfectionism because perfectionists are striving to become better whereas maximizers are always seeking the best and can never obtain it. Maximizing can be domain specific - meaning you can maximize for certain decisions but satisfice for others.
5) Rules can be helpful in that they are a way of pre-deciding and eliminate extra options. Relationships and closeness bring happiness.
6) Conflict raises avoidance of decisions. Opportunity costs complicate decisions because we factor in opportunity costs of all options rather than just one or two.
7) Omissions cause deeper regret than commissions. They are more long-term whereas commissions are short-term regrets. We regret things that we're responsible for more than things we just experience.
8) We adapt to good and bad. We get used to things like having a great car or fast computer. After a short amount of time, we don't realize how good it is. We should focus on how the things we have are actually pretty good.
9) Comparisons detract from satisfaction, especially social comparisons. We see some aspect of something that is better for someone else and it reduces our happiness with what we have.
The fear of failing is the curse of high expectations.
10) Depression might stem from the unlimited choices we have. Unlimited choices means expectation of perfection. Individualism emphasized in our society means that the responsibility of failure lands on us. This can cause a lot of worry.
11) Suggestions to overcome the paradox:
1 - Choose when to choose. Make rules and pre-decide where appropriate.
2 - Be a chooser, not a picker. Pickers pick from options, choosers evaluate needs.
3 - Try to satisfice more than maximize.
4 - Think of the cost of opportunity costs. Don't compare too many options.
5 - Make decisions non-reversible. When we think there is an option to back out, it stays on our mind.
6 - Have an attitude of gratitude. Make a list of 5 things your thankful for every night.
7 - Regret less.
8 - Anticipate adaptation. Think of how good things are right now.
9 - Control expectations.
10 - Curtail social comparison. Think of what makes you happy right now.
11 - Learn to love constraints. Work inside of them.
Overall, it was very good. I think I fall into the trap of maximizing more than I should. I'll work on that.
Chapter-by-chapter summary:
1) Some choices don't matter much, such as which cereal or soap you buy, so don't agonize over them. There are overwhelming options available to us: products at the store, majors and programs in college, job opportunities. This makes decisions complicated.
2) A majority of people want more control over their lives, but a majority of people want to simplify their lives. What a paradox. Some choices (college, marriage, health insurance, retirement) do matter, but we're still faced with almost endless options.
3) We don't know what we really want and we can't process all of the available information effectively. This makes it difficult to reach an optimal decision.
Peak-end theory: The feelings at the peak and end of an experience determine how the experience overall gets remembered.
Endowment effects - when something becomes "yours," you assign it more value.
4) Be a satisficer, not a maximizer. Maximizing is worse than perfectionism because perfectionists are striving to become better whereas maximizers are always seeking the best and can never obtain it. Maximizing can be domain specific - meaning you can maximize for certain decisions but satisfice for others.
5) Rules can be helpful in that they are a way of pre-deciding and eliminate extra options. Relationships and closeness bring happiness.
6) Conflict raises avoidance of decisions. Opportunity costs complicate decisions because we factor in opportunity costs of all options rather than just one or two.
7) Omissions cause deeper regret than commissions. They are more long-term whereas commissions are short-term regrets. We regret things that we're responsible for more than things we just experience.
8) We adapt to good and bad. We get used to things like having a great car or fast computer. After a short amount of time, we don't realize how good it is. We should focus on how the things we have are actually pretty good.
9) Comparisons detract from satisfaction, especially social comparisons. We see some aspect of something that is better for someone else and it reduces our happiness with what we have.
The fear of failing is the curse of high expectations.
10) Depression might stem from the unlimited choices we have. Unlimited choices means expectation of perfection. Individualism emphasized in our society means that the responsibility of failure lands on us. This can cause a lot of worry.
11) Suggestions to overcome the paradox:
1 - Choose when to choose. Make rules and pre-decide where appropriate.
2 - Be a chooser, not a picker. Pickers pick from options, choosers evaluate needs.
3 - Try to satisfice more than maximize.
4 - Think of the cost of opportunity costs. Don't compare too many options.
5 - Make decisions non-reversible. When we think there is an option to back out, it stays on our mind.
6 - Have an attitude of gratitude. Make a list of 5 things your thankful for every night.
7 - Regret less.
8 - Anticipate adaptation. Think of how good things are right now.
9 - Control expectations.
10 - Curtail social comparison. Think of what makes you happy right now.
11 - Learn to love constraints. Work inside of them.